I just happened to see your post in my notes feed somehow. Anyway, just today my mother got a call from her doctor notifying her that she has heart disease. Luckily it has been caught in the early stages, but I have been so shocked and afraid and in a stupor all day long. All I can think of is the worst, and I feel all this grief already, even though nothing has happened. It's a very strange feeling, so unexpected. But beyond all that is compassion and a strong desire to forgive and just forget all of my resentments and issues. It's also sobering because I'm not even close to prepared for the day she won't be here. A strong dose of reality and a need to confront one's fear of death is always good, I suppose.
I just happened to see your post in my notes feed somehow. Anyway, just today my mother got a call from her doctor notifying her that she has heart disease. Luckily it has been caught in the early stages, but I have been so shocked and afraid and in a stupor all day long. All I can think of is the worst, and I feel all this grief already, even though nothing has happened. It's a very strange feeling, so unexpected. But beyond all that is compassion and a strong desire to forgive and just forget all of my resentments and issues. It's also sobering because I'm not even close to prepared for the day she won't be here. A strong dose of reality and a need to confront one's fear of death is always good, I suppose.
I subscribe to the "life's too short" theory, and trained myself to not hold a grudge. Thanks for sharing this personal lesson.